Week Six solidified several hypotheses about the 2016 NESCAC football season. It definitively proved that Trinity is the class of the league. We learned that Tufts doesn’t need to choose between two somewhat ineffective quarterbacks to be a contender, and that even Amherst can’t overcome the loss of their top two quarterbacks (though Alex Berluti ’17 was back in action this weekend). It also proved without a doubt that my dad and I shouldn’t watch tense Middlebury sporting events in confined spaces (sorry about the TV remote Dad, I’ll pay for a new one.) Here on the opening day of NESCAC Winter Sports practices, we bring you the third to last football Power Rankings
1: Trinity (6-0)
Many experts (mostly me) were saying that Middlebury would come out on top in the NESCAC Super Bowl that took place in Hartford on Saturday, effectively clinching the league championship. However, the Bantams made those experts (again, mostly me) look pretty foolish. Trinity vaporized Middlebury on Saturday to the tune of 49-13. It was 28-0 at the end of the first half, causing my father, a Middlebury fan of over 50 years, to go out and rake leaves rather than watch the third quarter on webcast. Running back Max Chipouras was simply unstoppable (186 yard and two touchdowns) and quarterback (and Tony Soprano’s “waste management” associate) Sonny Puzzo was his usual solid self, passing for two touchdowns and running for another. It was their defense that starred, however. They pressured Jared Lebowitz and nearly every throw, forcing him into three interceptions. Trinity closes the season still needing to play Amherst and Wesleyan to seal up the league title, but at this rate I think they could take on Alabama and come out on top.
2: Tufts (5-1)
Next up in the “lessen Peter’s credibility as an analyst” division is Tufts. For much of the season I’ve been saying that Tufts’ inconsistency at quarterback would prevent them from entering the elusive “Top Tier” that we write so vaguely about here at NBN. However, the Jumbos’ performance against Amherst last weekend made me look like the ESPN writers who thought that Tom Brady would be rusty after Deflategate: loudly and abrasively wrong. Chance Brady (no relation) had another POY level performance with 157 yards on 24 carries and two touchdowns. Quarterback Ryan Mcdonald offered a surprisingly solid performance, both throwing and running for over 100 yards and a touchdown with no turnovers. And the defense collectively starred, forcing two interceptions and four sacks against the vaunted Amherst offense. It is possible that beating Amherst is not quite as powerful a showing in reality as it sounds on paper, but Tufts put the league on notice this weekend.
3: Middlebury (5-1)
The Panthers were outmatched from the opening kickoff against Trinity, giving up two long touchdowns in the first quarter on a 34 yard run from Max Chipouras and a 46 yard pass from Sonny Puzzo to Bryan Viera. Trinity intercepted Middlebury quarterback Jared Lebowitz 3 times and backup Jack Meservy twice, and recorded five sacks in a dominating all around performance. The lone bright spot for the Panthers was another strong outing for sophomore running back Diego Meritus, who put up 70 yards on 14 carries and scored a touchdown. Look for Meritus to possibly get even more work as the Panthers attempt to remain in the running for a share of the league title in a road trip against Hamilton, and a crucial matchup at home against Tufts in the final week of the season.
4: Wesleyan (5-1)
Before Wesleyan fans kill me for dropping them after they put up 39 points in a win, let me remind them that I have always loved their uniforms. Red and black is a fire combination, and adding the “Cardinals” mascot (one of the better animal mascots in sports) makes the whole ensemble even better. That said, Wesleyan dominated Bowdoin at home in a performance that can only be described as “expected.” You don’t get glory for beating up on one of the two worst teams in the league at home. The Cardinals got an impressive performance from quarterback Mark Piccirillo, and should use this game and their matchup with Williams next weekend as a tuneup for their final week showdown with Trinity, which may actually be the championship of the league (I know we said that about Middlebury-Trinity, but we got excited.)
5: Amherst (3-3)
If you approached me in a the saloon from Westworld during the offseason, as I nursed a whiskey with my cowboy hat tilted low over my eyes, and told me that after Week Six I’d be writing a Power Rankings column with Amherst fifth, I would have told you to stop telling me about NESCAC football while we’re in a robotic world of adventure and mystery. And also that you were wrong. But here we are in regular old 2016 America, with Amherst having lost three of their last four games and falling completely out of contention for the league championship. The culprit the last two weeks has been turnovers, as Amherst has coughed up the ball 7 times in the last two weeks. This gives their defense, which is still among the best in the league, very little rest or field position to work with, accounting for Chance Brady running all over them like Usain Bolt last weekend. Amherst still has an opportunity to be a major spoiler next weekend, as they take on Trinity. If they can muster some of the Amherst swagger that was present during their 21 game winning streak, they can throw a major wrench into the Bantam’s march to the title.
6: Bates (2-4)
Bates put up one of their best halves in several years this past weekend against Colby, leading 21-3 at the end of two quarters. Sandy Plashkes had over 170 yards of total offense and a touchdown, and Bates overcame a rally attempt by Colby in the second half to win 21-19. With matchups against Hamilton and Bowdoin to end the year, Bates has a very real chance to finish .500. And with Amherst still needing to play Trinity, Bates could very well end up with the same record as Amherst. By the way, as I wrote that last sentence, a wormhole opened and irreparably damaged the space-time continuum. Time now runs backwards, all precipitation is now in the form of fire. Earth has become a living nightmare. So my bad I guess. Seriously though, Bates is hot. Let’s see if they can carry that fire into their final CBB matchup this weekend.
7: Colby (2-4)
The Mules finished on the other end of the “Second Tier Super Bowl” in Lewiston last weekend. Unable to overcome a slow start, Colby’s comeback attempt fell just short, ending in a 21-19 loss. Colby’s offense pretty much entirely consisted of throws from quarterback Christian Sparacio to wide receiver Sebastian Ferrell (who has flown under the radar this season, but is 5th in yards and third in yards per catch as a sophomore). Farrell and Sparacio hooked up 11 times for 183 yards and two touchdowns, giving the Mules a fighting chance to come back from an early 21-3 deficit. If Ferrell and Sparacio can keep up this repartee, the Mules have an opportunity to play a major spoiling role for Tufts next weekend, and also finish at .500, the golden mark for several historically lesser programs.
8: Hamilton (2-4)
Hamilton took care of business this weekend against Williams, beating the Ephs 16-6 in what was a wholly unremarkable game. Hamilton freshman quarterback Kenny Grey continued to show solid promise, and Hamilton was able to constantly pin Williams deep in their own territory. The Continentals may have a chance to pick up another win against Bates in the final week of the season, and face off with a wounded Panthers pride this coming Saturday. Middlebury has a tendency to get off to slow starts, particularly on the road, so if Hamilton plays perfectly, they could pull off the biggest upset of the season.
9: Williams (0-6)
The Ephs missed their last and best chance to get a win in 2016 when they fell to Hamilton. From the beginning of the season this was going to be a rebuilding year for Williams, as they transition into the Mark Raymond era. And there have been some bright spots, particularly the emergence of Tyler Patterson ‘19, an end who missed the first few games but is a dynamic offensive talent. Williams may not be able to win one in 2016, but honestly neither has the rest of the world really. The Ephs have no reason to hang their heads. However, you can never count Williams out for their Week 8 matchup with Amherst, The Biggest Little Game in America.
10: Bowdoin (0-6)
The same cannot quite be said for Bowdoin. The 2016 season was also doomed from the start for the Polar Bears, but in large part due to a plagiarism scandal that resulted in the loss of several starters. For anyone wondering, this is a worse excuse than a new coach. Aside from a 26-25 loss to Hamilton, Bowdoin has not lost by under 20 points this season, and gives up an almost unfathomable 466 yards per game. Bowdoin does have games left against Bates and Colby, but they’d have to figure some things out real fast to have a shot against even those middle of the pack teams.