More Than a Numbers Game: NESCAC Baseball All-Roster Pic Team

NESCAC Baseball All-Roster Pic Team

I set out to write this article with the intention of picking the top ten roster pics – one from each team. When I began looking through each team’s pictures it became apparent that I couldn’t just go with one from each team. There were really just too many good ones. So instead I decided to break guys up into groups that were similar to hopefully give everyone a bit of amusement. Also a random side note – the class of 2021 has shown off some truly hilarious roster pics across the board, so I expect to continue seeing big things in the future from this year’s sophomore class.

The Lumberjacks

Joseph Celio ’21 (Trinity), Bryan Gotti ’22 (Bates), & Will O’Brien ’19 (Williams)

These guys start us off with some nice, thick beards and (at least for Celio) a potentially problematic hairline. What we have here are a few power dudes who hit bombs, throw gas, and definitely chop down trees in their free time. If you see any of these guys outside of the baseball diamond I guarantee you’ll find them rocking a flannel and corduroys. They all could easily be standout players on the football field as well, but they wisely decided against CTE down the road. This is definitely a great way to kick us off.

Nick Nardone ’19 (Amherst)

I’m a big fan of Nardone’s beard and I think that’s probably because it is a huge upgrade from what he had going on last year. It nicely connects all the way through the mustache and appears to be full everywhere else. Hopefully the former Little League World Series star can return to his old form and guide Amherst back to the playoffs again this year.

Ryan Sholtis ’21 (Amherst)

What I find interesting about Sholtis’ beard is that it seems to be pretty long in some areas, while much shorter in others. I’m not really sure what look he was going for, but I know that I would probably take a razor to it. I don’t mean to be too critical though – he’s only a sophomore so I’m willing to give the beard a little more time to come together.

The Adult-Film Stars

Carter King ’19 (Hamilton), Tommy McGee ’21 (Colby), & Matt Mitchell ’19 (Colby)

Now here’s where things start to get really interesting. I would imagine that these three guys took a considerable amount of time preparing their ‘staches to be on camera. Their soft smiles tell you that they knew exactly what look they were going for and they know now that they nailed it. There are plenty of guys with plenty of mustaches out there, but not all of them are properly groomed or on the right faces. These ones are.

Peter Schuldt ’21 (Bates)

They may not be easy to see, but Pete’s mustache and chin piece are very much there. I’m not sure why he didn’t feel the need to put his hat all the way on his head, but I kind of like it. I also don’t really understand the reasoning behind Bates’ questionably lit roster pics, but it totally adds to the presentation here. I can’t imagine hitters would be particularly excited to face this guy.

Joe Suski ’21 (Hamilton)

Suski is absolutely killing this look. The penciled in mustache with a thick mane on his head that I still can’t figure out the color of is hilarious, and his on field performance has made it look even better. If you’re looking for a laugh then try looking at Suski’s picture and picturing him without all the hair – it’s like a completely different person. This guy found a look that no one else in the NESCAC has been able to replicate. Well done.

Sriharsha Bollu ’22 (Tufts)

With Bollu we actually run into a bit of a problem because he has one of the fuller mustaches we’ve seen, but we don’t get a great look at it due to his terrific, ear-to-ear smile. I’ll be the first to say that I think his smile absolutely makes up for it, but it’s a shame that we can’t get a better look at the whiskers. Perhaps next year he’ll consider straight-facing it like some of his teammates.

Sam Thoreen ’22 (Hamilton)

Oh yeah. The first two words that come to mind when I look at Thoreen’s headshot are “oh yeah.” The Fu Manchu is a classic look that many famous athletes have tried their hand at – Aaron Rodgers, Joe Flacco, Goose Gossage…and now Sam Thoreen. It’s clear that the Hamilton guys have a recurring theme with their pictures. Message received, fellas.

The “I’ve had picture day circled on my calendar since winter break”

Brandon Lopez ’19 (Bowdoin)

I’m a little disappointed because Lopez hasn’t changed his roster pic and he found a place in last year’s article, but here he is again. The facial hair is subtle, but combine that with the popped chains and bat on his shoulder and you get the full picture. It feels like he’s been in Brunswick for 15 years but this is finally the last time we’ll get to feel Lopez’s presence on the field. Hopefully it’s a good final act.

Tyler Mulberry ’19 (Colby)

Mulberry could have found a spot in the “Adult Film Stars” section but I felt like his hard work merited a spot here instead. This guy has a history of producing outstanding roster pics and he didn’t disappoint this year at all. The mustache, chin piece, and soul patch (?) all look like they peaked just in time for picture day and Mulberry took full advantage. Another nice effort from one of the Waterville guys.

Luke Pascarella ’22 (Trinity)

I’m sure that Pascarella will have a successful career at Trinity but he 100% missed his opportunity to star as one of the cast members in a renewal of Jersey Shore. The roster tells me that he’s from New York but my heart tells me that he’s straight out of Seaside Heights, New Jersey. He’s definitely the guy in the locker room that everyone goes to for hair product, but you know what? Every team needs that guy.

Michael O’Hare ’21 (Hamilton)

This is one of the more creative efforts I’ve ever seen. O’Hare made sure that the facial hair was properly in place for picture day, but the glasses on the hat definitely puts it over the top. We’ve seen the blank stare before, but in this case it makes it look like he doesn’t even know that the glasses are still there. Someone get this guy an Oscar. Very fine performance here from O’Hare.

Michael Volgende ’22 (Tufts)

Rumor has it that Volgende showed up on campus in the fall with a buzz cut and a baby face. He was always clean-shaven and properly coiffed. One day at a fall practice Coach Casey made an off-handed comment about Volgende’s youthful appearance, so he vowed that day that he wouldn’t cut a single hair on his body for the rest of the year. Thus, the grizzly bear was born.

The “I had no idea what I was doing for picture day”

Mike Dow ’19 (Amherst)

Good lord. I’m honestly pretty scared of this guy. Known for his on-field antics, Dow has clearly fully embraced the obligatory psycho relief pitcher role that most college teams have. I, for one, would feel a lot of pressure if I had to step in the box against this maniac. It can’t be a lot of fun making an out and then getting verbally abused at by the opposing pitcher on your walk back to the dugout.

George Goldstein ’21 (Middlebury)

There honestly isn’t a whole lot to this one; it pretty much just looks like Goldstein grew out some scruff and didn’t care that it was picture day. My main focus here is that he’s wearing a Phiten. Believe me, I wore the crap out of my Phiten. But that was back at AAU tournaments in 2009. I’m not sure what it says about a college baseball player who wears a Phiten, but it really doesn’t seem like George cares what we think.

Sam Phipps ’21 (Wesleyan)

This is another pretty bizarre one. What in the world was Phipps going for? There’s no way his mom pre-approved what was on his face for this one. It looks like he had a nicely groomed chin-piece that he got a little lazy on and then BOOM it was picture day. He had no idea what was coming. It’s almost as if you can see in his eyes that he knows he’ll have some explaining to do.

Jeremy Irzyk ’21 (Williams)

Jeremy was almost ready. He almost had everything just right. Maybe Williams moved picture day up earlier than he thought. Maybe he overestimated his ability to grow facial hair. I don’t know, I’m not him. It must have been pretty bright in Williamstown when they took the pictures because Irzyk chose not to give us a great look at his eyes. Interesting move, mystery man.

Brian Lawson ’20 (Hamilton)

I’d like to meet with the registrar at Hamilton because I’m not convinced that this guy is even enrolled at the school. I’m guessing that he lives in the woods somewhere near the school and when it’s time for his start in the rotation they get him a uniform and glove and throw him out on the mound. In fact, I’ve heard that the only photographs of Lawson in existence are his roster pics from the past three seasons. It’s a unique situation they’ve got going on over there but apparently it seems to be working.

Kelvin Sosa ’21 (Wesleyan)

Absolutely outrageous move going with one eyebrow up for your roster pic. It’s unclear whether Sosa wasn’t ready for the picture to be taken or if he really just doesn’t care that he looks absurd. I’ve heard this is the exact look he likes to give hitters after he strikes them out in the second inning of a scoreless mid-week game. Like momma always said: psycho is as psycho does.