Despite the noble efforts of the merry band of writers here at Nothing But NESCAC, the league certainly lacks national exposure. However, that is about to change with the news leaking out of the MLB’s offices early this morning. According to one of our (many, many) sources in the MLB, Mike Trout will soon be taking a leave of absence from the Angels to attend an as-of-yet undecided NESCAC school.
Trout, who was taken out of Millville High School in New Jersey in the 2009 MLB draft, has established himself as the best player in the MLB during his first three seasons, winning the American League’s Most Valuable Player award last year at just 23. However, he had recently been feeling unsatisfied with his lack of college education, and the dearth of one on one attention he was receiving from his coaches with the Angels. His teammates had reported walking into the lockerroom to see him poring over a ragged, dog-eared copy of Henry David Thoreau’s Walden, only to have him throw it into his locker and hurriedly pick up Albert Pujol’s issue of Maxim.
“Mike has always had a very inquisitive mind, and he simply isn’t feeling intellectually fulfilled in the Major Leagues anymore,” said a source close to the organization. “He feels that the small college experience will open him to a multitude of new opportunities to grow as a man, and learn more about this crazy ride we call life.”
The obvious question that people are now asking is which school Trout will attend. We caught up with the star outfielder in a hotel room in Williamstown, having just finished a tour of Williams. He was sitting on the bed with his father, poring over several ethnically diverse brochures from Amherst, Middlebury and Bowdoin.
“I just don’t know, man,” the natural successor to Mickey Mantle said with a sigh. “Middlebury’s language studies can’t be beat, and it’s crucial to be bilingual in our rapidly globalizing society. But Williams has this incredible science and math department AND a museum with Picasso in it. Picasso! Shouldn’t I be at a place that can combine sciences and humanities like that?”
“But what about the girls at Middlebury, huh Mike,” his father interjected with a wink. The unanimous 2012 Rookie of the Year award winner blushed and returned to his brochures. When asked whether he would play baseball in NESCAC, he expressed some desire to, but that he really would like to try Quidditch at some point, and worried that Quidditch, studying for finals AND baseball would be too much to take on in his freshman year. “They have intramurals though,” he reasoned.
Wherever Trout ends up, his celebrity presence is sure to turn NESCAC on its head. We will have further updates on this exciting story as more details come out, but last we heard, Trout and his father were planning a drive down to Amherst to catch an information session.