NESCAC Football Roster Pic Power Rankings
It’s finally here. The long awaited, much anticipated roster pic article is ready. We can do as much analysis of each sport as we want, but nothing tops looking at the most amusing headshots. There’s no debate that football players have the funniest roster pics, so it was a lot of fun writing this. As always, I looked through literally every picture of every player on every team’s roster and selected the most ridiculous picture from each team. Some teams had better ones than others, but everybody had at least one good one. Enjoy.
10. Andrew Sommer ’19 (Amherst)
Amherst didn’t have the best options, but Sommer provides us with surely the best sideburns in the NESCAC. What makes his picture especially interesting is that not only did he not smile, but he also looks like he’s trying to break the camera with his stare. If I had to guess, I’d say Sommer is that hardo teammate who feels the need to give a motivational speech to the team before the coach gets to the locker room at halftime of every game.
9. Bryan Vieira ’19 (Trinity)
There’s no doubt that Vieira has some awesome flow. We all know it. The light hits his hair at such an angle; it looks like he was sent from the gods. The funny thing is that he absolutely loves his own roster pic. I know this because he hasn’t taken a new one since his freshman year. That’s right, for all we know he could be sporting a man bun, Mohawk, or Afro now that a few years have passed. You can’t sneak this one by us, Bryan.
8. Ian Devine ’22 (Williams)
There isn’t anything too crazy about this one; it’s just a terrific Afro. Devine is the real-life embodiment of the old Head & Shoulders commercial with Troy Polamalu. We hear all this talk about concussions in football these days, but I don’t think Devine has much to worry about with that pillow-like mane squeezed under his helmet.
7. Sam Foley ’21 (Hamilton)
This one is obviously all about the ‘stache. That thing is perfectly trimmed and the way he has it extend down just beyond the corners of the mouth is nothing short of perfection. Foley tried something similar last year, but it wasn’t quite ready for picture day. No chance he was making the same mistake again this year. You gotta respect the effort as the backup quarterback to have a roster pic that blows everyone away. This guy gets it.
6. Shane Normandeau ’19 (Colby)
Shane is the kid who’s just happy to be here. He shows up to practice every day with the same goofy smile, does his thing, and heads home. His teammates sometimes get mad at his relentless cheery attitude and how he always feels the need to say “thanks coach” even when they’re getting yelled at to get on the line for their 7th consecutive suicide. But that’s just Shane. The kid who minds his own business and only pisses people off by accident.
5. Steve Barsky ’21 (Tufts)
I can’t quite visualize what Barsky was going for here, but I guess it worked out because it landed him a top 5 spot on our list. It really just looks like he forgot it was picture day, overslept, and ended up getting there with bed head. I guess you could call it the “I don’t care” look. At least that’s what Coach Civetti must have been thinking when one of his players showed up looking like this.
4. Coy Candelario ’19 (Bates)
Coy is a mysterious guy. Few people have seen him and even fewer have actually met him. The only pictures we have of him are his roster pics from the last four years and that’s the way he likes it. His facial hair is very nicely trimmed and honestly I’ve always been a big fan of the musketeer look. I’m not sure if the flash was too bright or if his contacts were bothering him, but we really can’t get a good look at his eyes. Perhaps that’s just what he was going for – doing his best to remain an enigma.
3. Pete Huggins ’21 (Middlebury)
There were a few guys who went with this look, but I like Huggins’ the best because he just looks so grimy. I mean this guy looks like he’s right off the set of a 1980s adult film. What really stands out here is the confidence in his smile. We see plenty of dudes who think they’re funny making a stupid face because they know their roster pic is ridiculous. Here you see Huggins smile as if he doesn’t know that he’s rocking an outrageous Fu Manchu with a missed spot on his chin. Nice work.
2. Russ Gore ’22 (Bowdoin)
Russ Gore knows he’s good looking. It’s no secret. He wakes up at 5:30am every day to dye his sideburns darker and curl his beautiful blonde hair. As Russ will tell you, there aren’t a lot of people willing to put in the work that he does to look this good. I can’t even imagine how much difficulty he has fending off girls at Bowdoin parties. He’s just a middle-part away from looking like Mugatu from Zoolander and we all know how really, really, ridiculously good looking everyone is in that movie.
- Mark Piccirillo ’19 (Wesleyan)
I actually hate this picture. I simply had no choice but to put it at #1. If you’re going to go with a grin that cocky then you better be one of the best players in the league. That hair has so much volume you have to wonder if he blow-dries (spoiler: he does). Legend has it at Wesleyan that Mark Piccirillo once entered a Jesus look-alike contest against Jesus himself, and won. The whole grin, beard, and hair combo makes him look like Jack Parkman from Major League II. The way the Cardinals have been playing they could really use a savior and apparently Piccirillo is trying to fill that void. Congrats on the top spot Mark, you earned it.
